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1 month ago

"

As women, when we’re children we’re taught to enter the world with big hearts. Blooming hearts. Hearts bigger than our damn fists. We are taught to forgive - constantly - as opposed to what young boys are taught: Revenge, to get ‘even.’ Our empathy is constantly made appeals to, often demanded for. If we refuse to show kindness, we are reprimanded. We are not good women if we do not crush our bones to make more space for the world, if we do not spread our entire skin over rocks for others to tread on, if we do not kill ourselves in every meaning of the word in the process of making it cozy for everyone else. It is the heat generated by the burning of our bodies with which the world keeps warm. We are taught to sacrifice so much for so little. This is the general principle all over the world.

By the time we are young women, we are tired. Most of us are drained. Some of us enter a lock of silence because of that lethargy. Some of us lash out. When I think of that big, blooming heart we once had, it looks shriveled and worn out now. When I was teaching, I had a young student named Mariam. She was only 11 years old. Some boy pushed her around in class, called her names, broke her spirit for the day. We were sitting under a chestnut tree on a field trip and she asked me if a boy ever hurt me. I told her many did and I destroyed them one by one. I think that’s the first time she ever heard the word ‘destroyed.’ We rarely teach our girls to fight back for the right reasons.

Take up more space as a woman. Take up more time. Take your time. You are taught to hide, censor, move about without messing up decorum for a man’s comfort. Whether it’s said or not, you’re taught balance. Forget that. Displease. Disappoint. Destroy. Be loud, be righteous, be messy. Mess up and it’s fine – you are learning to unlearn. Do not see yourself like glass. Like you could get dirty and clean. You are flesh. You are not constant. You change. Society teaches women to maintain balance and that robs us of our volatility. Our mercurial hearts. Calm and chaos. Love only when needed; preserve otherwise.

Do not be a moth near the light; be the light itself. Do not let a man’s ocean-big ego swallow you up. Know what you want. Ask yourself first. Decide your own pace. Decide your own path. Be cruel when needed. Be gentle only when needed. Collapse and then re-construct. When someone says you are being obscene, say yes I am. When they say you are being wrong, say yes I am. When they say you are being selfish, say yes I am. Why shouldn’t I be? How do you expect a woman to stand on her two feet if you keep striking her at the ankles.

There are multiple lessons we must teach our young girls so that they render themselves their own pillars instead of keeping male approval as the focal point of their lives. It is so important to state your feelings of inconvenience as a woman. We are instructed to tailor ourselves and our discomfort - constantly told that we are ‘whining’ and ‘nagging’ and ‘complaining too much.’ That kind of silence is horribly violent, that kind of insistence upon uniformly nodding in agreement to your own despair, and smiling emptily so no man is ever uncomfortable around us. Male-entitlement dictates a woman’s silence. If we could see the mimetic model of the erasure of a woman’s voice, it would be an incredibly bloody sight.

On a breezy July night, my mother and I were sleeping under the open sky. Before dozing off, I told her that I think there is a special place in heaven where all wounded women bury their broken hearts and their hearts grow into trees that only give fruit to the good and poison to the bad. She smiled and said Ameen. Then she closed her eyes.

"
Mehreen Kasana, A Woman of War (via jolinxo)

(Source: pbnpineapples, via jolinxo)

43048 notes Reblog

1 month ago

shez-a-bitch:

http://shez-a-bitch.tumblr.com
3504 notes Reblog

1 month ago

yarrahs-life:

Ok so her face is everything in life!
70 notes Reblog

1 month ago

celiabasto:

100% ART
1016 notes Reblog

1 month ago

1267746 notes Reblog

2 months ago

MAKE ME ADMIT STUFF

  • 1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?
  • 2. You talked to an ex today, correct?
  • 3. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?
  • 4. Is trust a big issue for you?
  • 5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?
  • 6. What are you excited for?
  • 7. What happened tonight?
  • 8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?
  • 9. Is confidence cute?
  • 10. What is the last beverage you had?
  • 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?
  • 12. Have you ever taken someones virginity?
  • 13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?
  • 14. What are you going to spend money on next?
  • 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?
  • 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?
  • 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
  • 18. The last time you felt broken?
  • 19. Have you had sex today?
  • 20. Are you starting to realize anything?
  • 21. Are you in a good mood?
  • 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?
  • 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?
  • 24. What do you want right this second?
  • 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?
  • 26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?
  • 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?
  • 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?
  • 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?
  • 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?
  • 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?
  • 32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?
  • 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?
  • 34. Listening to?
  • 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?
  • 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?
  • 37. Do you believe in love at first sight?
  • 38. Who did you last call?
  • 39. Who was the last person you danced with?
  • 40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
  • 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?
  • 42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?
  • 43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?
  • 44. Do you tan in the nude?
  • 45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?
  • 46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
  • 47. Who was the last person to call you?
  • 48. Do you sing in the shower?
  • 49. Do you dance in the car?
  • 50. Ever used a bow and arrow?
  • 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
  • 52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
  • 53. Is Christmas stressful?
  • 54. Ever eat a pierogi?
  • 55. Favorite type of fruit pie?
  • 56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
  • 57. Do you believe in ghosts?
  • 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
  • 59. Take a vitamin daily?
  • 60. Wear slippers?
  • 61. Wear a bath robe?
  • 62. What do you wear to bed?
  • 63. First concert?
  • 64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
  • 65. Nike or Adidas?
  • 66. Cheetos Or Fritos?
  • 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
  • 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?
  • 69. Ever take dance lessons?
  • 70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
  • 71. Can you curl your tongue?
  • 72. Ever won a spelling bee?
  • 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
  • 74. What is your favorite book?
  • 75. Do you study better with or without music?
  • 76. Regularly burn incense?
  • 77. Ever been in love?
  • 78. Who would you like to see in concert?
  • 79. What was the last concert you saw?
  • 80. Hot tea or cold tea?
  • 81. Tea or coffee?
  • 82. Favorite type of cookie?
  • 83. Can you swim well?
  • 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
  • 85. Are you patient?
  • 86. DJ or band, at a wedding?
  • 87. Ever won a contest?
  • 88. Ever have plastic surgery?
  • 89. Which are better black or green olives?
  • 90. Opinions on sex before marriage?
  • 91. Best room for a fireplace?
  • 92. Do you want to get married?
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3 months ago

Just another old look #lookbook #fashion #blackfashion #tumblr #jersey #lookbooker #style #fauxleather #adidas
1075 notes Reblog

5 months ago

blackfashion:

Photographer: Oye Diran (Arista Imagery)Model: Iris OliviaMUA: MoshoodatHair: HairByCassyStylist: Olayinka I.Facebook  Fan Page | Instagram : @soho_flava
@blackfashionbyj | Facebook 
729 notes Reblog

5 months ago

blackfashion:

Thick black scarf, aztec b&w crop top, green wide leg pants
Taffiny, 17 , Illinois
Submitted by Taffiny Kablay
19290 notes Reblog

5 months ago

A snazzyspace.com Theme A snazzyspace.com Theme